‘I know you’re not my therapist but…’
You might think that as I have a background as an applied linguist and writing teacher, my work with clients is all about the words on the page.
But writing is rarely just about the words on the page.
Here are a few moments from a week I documented a while back:
Monday morning: a client began our session with ‘I know you’re not my therapist, but…’.
That’s right. I am NOT a therapist and nor do I try to be. But sometimes we need to explore the reasons that the writing isn’t happening (maybe now is not the time to write). Or why the words are flowing but just not getting out the door (often the hardest part).
Monday afternoon: final edit of a manuscript (ok, this was mostly about the words).
Monday afternoon: text from a client. ‘Do you think this is ready to submit?’ She knew it was. We’d already agreed it was. But she needed that extra confidence to press send.
Tuesday morning: a client messaged to ask if she could book an additional session.
We weren’t due to meet for a while, but she had a chapter to submit to her doctoral supervisor.
I know this client well. I’ve seen an early draft of this chapter.
What she’s submitting isn’t meant to be anywhere near a final draft and it doesn’t need to be perfect (it’s already pretty good).
Honestly, she didn’t need a session. All she needed was a little nudge, a friendly reminder that a PhD is an apprenticeship and that those first drafts should be gloriously imperfect. It turned out a reply to her message was just the nudge she needed.
I’ve been down that road. Taking forever to submit a first draft of anything during my first years as a PhD student (shout out to my endlessly patient mentor at that time, Ramesh Krishnamurthy). I understand.
If writing is giving you more angst than pleasure right now, maybe you just need to let go of the idea that it needs to be perfect. Or maybe you need someone by your side, cheering you on.
Is there something that you can send into the world that doesn’t feel high stakes? A blog post perhaps, or an email?
Do you have a friendly colleague you could send a draft to for feedback or reassurance (if that’s what you need)?
Or you can take this post as that gentle nudge and allow yourself the space for your writing to be imperfect.